since i last wrote...
this is a year-ender... and how happy i am that this year would end.. it has been 365 cruel days to me... slight happiness has come across but this doesnt mask the wounds in my heart...
every single day of the year has made the cracks in my heart bigger... im still alive, but i barely made it...
i dont know if i should be thankful that i did, because it just gives me another chance to screw up, or maybe another chance to fix my messed up life...
i'd opt for the first...
for the first semester, i joined organizations in my university.. i joined one too many.. i figured that if i would get preoccupied, i wouldnt have to feel so broken... but then again, i was wrong...
i did minor productions from university-wide organizations, performances, because im mostly inclined in being on stage...
i thought this would keep my mind of him but with every time i get on stage, i cant help but look for a familiar face in the crowd, the face ive been longing to see...
a sudden crash...
i found out that he's in the arms of someone new... they look happy...
he looks enamoured...
lucky girl....
makes me wonder what she did that made him face his fear of commitment...
personally, i wouldnt be surprised if they would eventually get married...
crash and burn...
...
it was really time for me to let him go, though he was never really mine.......
it was a tough year for me... i have been sick almost everytime... not just the common cold or fever...
hmmm.. life is short...
but something tells me that my life is shorter than everybody else's...
for the past months, ive tried to meet new people, but they are all just merely passerbys... one second they're all over you, the next they're all over someone else...
that's why i have come to the conclusion that im never meant for anything romantic
makes me think that im not actually the girl any guy is looking for...
i must've done something wrong.. but then again, i always do...
nothing actually wonderful has happened to me this year... (or maybe not wonderful in my perspective at least)
which makes me hope for a better year ahead,
probably the only positive thing im thinking of right now...
disappointment would be the last thing i need for the coming year
i have had so many
if this will continue, i dont know what id do....
----------------------------------------------
***fade to black***
false kisses under the moonlight,
entrapped heart just lost her own game
misinterpreted words mistaken for love
never was, never will be
a day of hearts, thought would be different
another illusion only one eye could see.
an expectation for something real
but his fear made it all a blur.
great love that wasnt enough to change a selfish heart
efforts to materialize are still worthless
a love growing continuously
his heart closed doors so easily
a hot summer flooded with tears
the hope is still there
as tears run down her cheeks,
memories are the only things she could keep
the heat of the sun slowly fades
colder are the days and nights
an urge to move on and let go
but never ever could do so
then the start of the busy days
a hope to wash him away from her memory
tried to keep preoccupied
so that he would never cross her mind
school work, exams, extracurriculars
sometimes too much that made her sick as a dog
mentally, physically, and emotionally battered
she dares to move on
an unexpected news
an unexpected picture
she saw him with someone
he looks different, he looks happy
continues her busy life
had a chance to an onstage performance
she looks lovely, she looks fine
but among the crowd she looks for his smile
disappointed, crushed, she decided to travel
a day at the beach, under the hot sun
a day at the high lands, try to get cozy in the fog
she'd be having the time of her life, if only he was with her
a birthday wish, a special someone
got drunk, she ended up weeping
a few dates, never did good
"what went wrong?" they left her asking
cold holidays spent at the beach
fun in the sand
but still with a crushed heart
nothing could be more awkward than this
adios to every bitter past
a simple desire for a sweeter tomorrow
i'll be moving on, this time it's for real
and im glad that this will all fade to black....
[Don Pedro]
for each month of the fleeting year, and a farewell note
i have a feeling that everything will be just fine...
false kisses under the moonlight,
entrapped heart just lost her own game
misinterpreted words mistaken for love
never was, never will be
a day of hearts, thought would be different
another illusion only one eye could see.
an expectation for something real
but his fear made it all a blur.
great love that wasnt enough to change a selfish heart
efforts to materialize are still worthless
a love growing continuously
his heart closed doors so easily
a hot summer flooded with tears
the hope is still there
as tears run down her cheeks,
memories are the only things she could keep
the heat of the sun slowly fades
colder are the days and nights
an urge to move on and let go
but never ever could do so
then the start of the busy days
a hope to wash him away from her memory
tried to keep preoccupied
so that he would never cross her mind
school work, exams, extracurriculars
sometimes too much that made her sick as a dog
mentally, physically, and emotionally battered
she dares to move on
an unexpected news
an unexpected picture
she saw him with someone
he looks different, he looks happy
continues her busy life
had a chance to an onstage performance
she looks lovely, she looks fine
but among the crowd she looks for his smile
disappointed, crushed, she decided to travel
a day at the beach, under the hot sun
a day at the high lands, try to get cozy in the fog
she'd be having the time of her life, if only he was with her
a birthday wish, a special someone
got drunk, she ended up weeping
a few dates, never did good
"what went wrong?" they left her asking
cold holidays spent at the beach
fun in the sand
but still with a crushed heart
nothing could be more awkward than this
adios to every bitter past
a simple desire for a sweeter tomorrow
i'll be moving on, this time it's for real
and im glad that this will all fade to black....
[Don Pedro]
for each month of the fleeting year, and a farewell note
i have a feeling that everything will be just fine...
ģend of session
